Rejection – how the nervous system remembers . . .
She couldn’t look at her husband while she spoke to him. “I told you I felt sad, and you told me, ‘it wasn’t that bad if I looked at it differently.’ Then my heart sank, so I shut up. I thought, ‘Fine, I’ll handle it alone, like I always do,’ and I changed the subject.” […]
2 Signs of a Secure Attachment Strategy
Attachment is the term psychologists use to describe the quality of our bonds. We can see our attachment style in our comfort and playfulness moving in and out of proximity with everyone important: partners, parents, friends, children, siblings, spiritual advisors, neighbors, colleagues, and even animals. We can see it in the way we handle stress. […]
4 Surprising Facts About Attachment
Get ready! We’re humans, so our brains are pro-social. We came into the world with an innate drive to establish healthy relationships with our caregivers. . . we’re hard-wired for connection and inter-dependence. And our brains (which don’t finish basic development until age twenty-five) long for relationships because they’re good and normal and healthy and […]
3 Adapted Attachment Strategies
Before we talk about adapted attachment, remember, if there are areas or situations where we don’t experience security in our relational field, that’s normal based on our history, and there are ways we can return to a secure state—always.
How to turn toward when they’re turning away
“What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”This thought kept coming back in various forms. It was her worst fear, and her anxiety was roiling because her partner seemed to be withdrawing.Her anxiety made sense. It was her adaptive brain doing a great job trying to keep her safe.The fear she experienced was so common, so […]
Accepting Help
This morning a woman asked to share. I’ve been watching her on our Zoom call. She’s beautiful—one of those radiant, compassionate beings. Smoke floats through her screen while she meditates. I imagine it’s white sage burning. She’s always been the fixer, she said. Fixing people’s lives, trying to help. She never asks for help, and […]
We Can’t Talk About It
“I’m certain my wife is depressed. We’ve been together 8 years. She has refused help and denies she’s even depressed. It’s easier for her to blame me for the way our marriage is than to take the hard look in the mirror and really see what’s going on.” “We haven’t had sex in 18 months. […]
I Miss Us
“Just feeling sad tonight. I wish my husband knew how much I miss how our relationship used to be. He gets home and just wants to relax or go to bed. We barely have sex once a month and haven’t even been married two years yet. Idk what or why this is happening. I just […]
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Rejection – how the nervous system remembers . . .
She couldn’t look at her husband while she spoke to him. “I told you I felt sad, and you told me, ‘it wasn’t that bad if I looked at it differently.’ Then my heart sank, so I shut up. I thought, ‘Fine, I’ll handle it alone, like I always do,’ and I changed the subject.” […]
2 Signs of a Secure Attachment Strategy
Attachment is the term psychologists use to describe the quality of our bonds. We can see our attachment style in our comfort and playfulness moving in and out of proximity with everyone important: partners, parents, friends, children, siblings, spiritual advisors, neighbors, colleagues, and even animals. We can see it in the way we handle stress. […]
4 Surprising Facts About Attachment
Get ready! We’re humans, so our brains are pro-social. We came into the world with an innate drive to establish healthy relationships with our caregivers. . . we’re hard-wired for connection and inter-dependence. And our brains (which don’t finish basic development until age twenty-five) long for relationships because they’re good and normal and healthy and […]
3 Adapted Attachment Strategies
Before we talk about adapted attachment, remember, if there are areas or situations where we don’t experience security in our relational field, that’s normal based on our history, and there are ways we can return to a secure state—always.
How to turn toward when they’re turning away
“What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”This thought kept coming back in various forms. It was her worst fear, and her anxiety was roiling because her partner seemed to be withdrawing.Her anxiety made sense. It was her adaptive brain doing a great job trying to keep her safe.The fear she experienced was so common, so […]
Accepting Help
This morning a woman asked to share. I’ve been watching her on our Zoom call. She’s beautiful—one of those radiant, compassionate beings. Smoke floats through her screen while she meditates. I imagine it’s white sage burning. She’s always been the fixer, she said. Fixing people’s lives, trying to help. She never asks for help, and […]
We Can’t Talk About It
“I’m certain my wife is depressed. We’ve been together 8 years. She has refused help and denies she’s even depressed. It’s easier for her to blame me for the way our marriage is than to take the hard look in the mirror and really see what’s going on.” “We haven’t had sex in 18 months. […]
I Miss Us
“Just feeling sad tonight. I wish my husband knew how much I miss how our relationship used to be. He gets home and just wants to relax or go to bed. We barely have sex once a month and haven’t even been married two years yet. Idk what or why this is happening. I just […]
